INT. OUTSIDE DSG OFFICE – NIGHT
(The glass door of the DSG office comes into view. One of those stray birds that somehow lives in the BC crashes into the door and plops on the ground.)
(A shadow opens the DSG office and pauses to gaze the seizing bird on the ground. The shadow comes into view as FRANCIS UNDERWOOD – a power hungry frat boy with skin about as orange as his Vineyard Vines. He has the charm of LMo, the viciousness of Nifong, and the sensitivity of Trask driving through a BLM protest. He crouches down and removes his wrap-around sunglasses, indoors mind you, to examine the BIRD CHIRPING near death.)
(A stalky STUDENT SENATOR stands behind Frank as he’s still crouched over the dying bird.)
She’s on to us.
Is she now?
Yes. I just said that.
How much does she know?
She has enough to cause an investigation before the court.
What are you doing on the ground?
It’s one of those pigeons, ran into the glass. Doesn’t stand a chance.
(Frank turns his head to look the Senator dead in the eyes, like a PTS worker issuing a ticket.)
Get her on the line. She might need some persuading to keep silent.
(The Student Senator nods and enters the DSG office. Frank still crouches by the bird’s body and gently pets the bird’s head.)
(He turns and looks into the camera.)
You know when there’s a Yak with -4 votes and you know that you in that moment hold the power to let straggle and have a chance at survival and upvotes or you can kill it in its tracks? That’s a lot like politics. You have to know when to let something straggle and suffer according to your will and when to do the world—I mean yourself—a favor.
(He twists the neck of bird to the sound of a SQUWAK.)
INT. DSG OFFICE –DAY
(Underwood and his ADVISORS gather around a computer. An AIDE opens up a laptop and places it on the table.)
In order to get the votes for the massage chairs
we will need to have a strong support from the committee and the senators.
Here’s a recording The Chronicle’s latest stream of the DSG meeting.
Okay, let’s see it. As Whip, I need to find out who we will need to target for the resolution.
(He pulls out a Macbook pro with 15 stickers from groups he only sort of cares about, but makes him look involved and important.)
(The video shows the DSG meeting hall, mostly empty except for two senators on opposite sides of the hall. The PERSON conducting the meeting is “Skyping in” from a laptop at the head of the room.)
Is anyone here? Hello?
(One of the senators in the hall walks out. The camera recording the meeting falls to the ground and captures only the carpet over the frantic cries of the Skyped in Person.)
BACK TO SCENE
(Frank rubs his chin and shakes his head.)
Yeah, I always thought that carpet was atrocious.
They can spend millions on a glass box but would it kill them to hire an interior designer.
(The whole room turns and gives the Aide a confused look. CLAIRE, Frank’s girlfriend, walks into the office, her poise and elegance perfumes the room as she enters. She’s too cool to be in a sorority. She’s a part of an SLG. She struts over to Frank, her chin almost facing the ceiling.)
A moment please.
(The advisors step out.)
Francis. I have decided that I will be SOFC chair.
Claire, you have very little experience in government. You cannot math. You had problems breaking a $20 for Shooters.
Francis. There is technology for math called a calculator. I am very well qualified and you know it. My work with my non-profit…
Claire. We get it. You founded your own non-profit. But I will not have you screwing up our plan. You’re crazy to think the student body will elect someone with no experience in DSG
It’s DSG. What do they actually do? You’re just afraid that will I actually have power and influence, and that it is not going to you.
You are so small-minded
And you have small hands.
(The Aide opens the door of the office and peers through.)
Sir. The pledges of Pi Omega will be voting for Kapoor.
(Frank turns toward the camera)
Pledges are indentured servants for a semester. They are supposed to be just happy to oblige to the brothers like myself, even get free votes to win someone a political campaign—but the threat of hazing doesn’t hurt either.
And higher ups in Kapoor’s sorority have made it clear the new sisters must vote for her to get points to be eligible for their formal.
Once Kapoor is in office, one tip to the Chronicle and she’s done.
(looking at Claire)
And we begin. Together.
Email between Francis and other SOFC chair candidate NEELA
email@example.com: lol who dis
firstname.lastname@example.org: Frank. Can you send out reminder for the polling link tomorrow? Good way for people to show you care. Shows you are professional and you have SOFC experience. It’s like there isn’t a difference between work and personal life.
email@example.com: true. Imma do that now.
INT. SHOOTERS – NIGHT
(A sweaty disgusting packed club floor pans into view. Flocks of girls gather in small hordes as a lining of creepy Durhamites line the wall—just moving their head. Frank chats with a half drunk Pooja Kapoor at a table away from the dance floor as she gets up from the table.)
Thanksss so much for your support, Fr..ank
Well, I wouldn’t be voting for anyone else.
(A girl CAROLYN PETE shimmies up to the table where Frank is sitting.)
I guess devil parties too
Writer’s sometimes put in things that sound elegant but are usually come off as cheesy
Don’t you have a paper to publish tonight
It’s not my night to edit tonight. I’m also not here here to fuck for facts
(Carolyn stumbles and struggles to stand.)
I’m taking you back
(Frank supports Carolyn’s arm now over his shoulder as they walk out.)
EXT. EAST BUS LOOP-NIGHT
(Carolyn and Frank stand at the bus stop. It’s empty including the lack of security. Carolyn regains her footing.)
I really wanted to just get you alone. There’s a rumor that you might have something to do with influencing the presidential race.
You’re right. I am quite the Bernie Sanders supporter.
No. I mean DSG.
(Frank looks deep into Carolyn’s eyes and pushes her into the incoming C1 bus. Frank runs away undetected William Trask rides up on his Porsche.)
Ha. This one’s not on me. This one’s white.