A GroupMe Plea

Groupme HQ


Dear whomever it may concern,

I have a serious, formal complaint concerning your app known as “GroupMe”, which has caused me great distress. Let me ask you, have you ever used your app? If you have, there’s likely been a time when your joke fell short. When your invitation for your 21st birthday party to a group of 11 close friends went completely un-hearted. When your own mother doesn’t even favorite your birthday message in the family group chat… the list goes on indefinitely. Let me ask you, sirs, have you have ever felt distraught, depressed, desolate at the mercy of those empty, empty hearts?! Have you felt the shame of sending a message to your Orgo study group instead of your best friend group about your graphic, personal relationship problems? I know that I am not alone in these heart-wrenching feelings of failure and embarrassment. I have seen many a friend fall into deep sadness after their punchline failed to draw the crowd’s approval, or drop out of a class because they can no longer look their peers in the eyes. I can tell you are still skeptical. Let me walk you through the horrible mental deterioration that occurs in this situation.

Greek Girls 2019 <3

8:01 pm – “Make Trump Drumpf again lol”

8:05 pm – No hearts on the message. Fear and worry start to creep in.

8:10 pm– No hearts. Worry turns to embarrassment and shame. What did I do wrong?

8:18 pm – No hearts. Why can’t I unsend a message? I tried and failed, my best wasn’t good enough, I might as well become a hermit now.

8:26 pmMaybe I’ll text Brittany and ask her to throw me a heart.

8:33 pmBrittany probably isn’t responding because she’s at spin class or getting froyo. Yeah that’s it.

9:15 pm – “Guys check out this dank Trump meme”, which was not posted by me, instantly receives 5 glorious hearts. The sign of approval, of comedic success. I hold back tears.

1:01 am – No one has heard from me in hours. I wallow in spiral of thoughts, blaming myself for what can only be called a life-changing disaster. I’ve never felt like such a failure or disappointment to myself, my friends, my family.


All of this could be solved with a simple edit, a quick bug fix, really. My kind creators, please, I’m begging you, create an unsend button in GroupMe. Please allow the thousands of humiliated, tormented people to take back and erase their shame.

Thank you for your time.

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