Leah arrived late to her interview, then started off the interview by scolding one of our staff members on their interviewing/journalistic practices.
These real quotes from the real Leah Abrams.
DO: FMK: Tim Cook, Adam Silver, President Price
LA: Oh god this is so hard. I don’t want to threaten violence on record. No, but, I’m going to marry Tim Cook. That’s going to be my first decision. I think I’m going to fuck Vincent Price because I feel like there is something naughty behind the glasses – I don’t know. I hope this doesn’t destroy our relationship. And I have to kill Adam Silver – I admire his leadership, but to be honest, I don’t love sports.
DO: What’s your moon rising? (Department Of would like to recognize “moon rising” is not an actual astrological concept)
LA: Oh my god. I love this. Can I pull up my whole Co-Star chart? Would you mind?
DO: Go for it.
LA: So I am obviously a Gemini, hence my name @geminisweetie. I’m a Taurus rising, and my mom is a Taurus, so I like that. I’m a Scorpio moon, which for me has always been weird because I tend to think Scorpios are really shady, but maybe there’s some of that in me. Who knew I had a dark side?
DO: Well, since you’re a Gemini, which side of yours are we actually seeing? Can we trust someone who is two-faced?
LA: I have always found two-faced as a descriptor of Geminis to be…. offensive. I don’t think it gets at the beauty of the Gemini sign. It’s not so much two-faced or fake or something like that as it is multi-faceted. I just object to the idea that I have some sort of duality.
DO: Do you have ethical qualms about having somebody on McKinsey on your campaign?
LA: Honestly, with the amount of work he’s put in, I feel like he’s not really on the campaign.
DO: All of the Young Trustee candidates are unique and interesting and worthy. What makes you the unique and interesting and worthy?
LA: Things that make me – independently – unique, interesting, and worthy: uhhh I can put my fist in my mouth. I won’t show you guys. That’s pretty unique. I can do it. I met Carly Rae Jepsen this summer. I tried to write a musical when I was ten. So, those are some fun facts about me.
DO: Out of every group on campus who would be your least favorite endorsement, as in whose endorsement would you reject?
LA: Oh, wow. Maybe like… Young Libertarians? I don’t want to do that to them. That’s tough. I don’t want to offend anyone.
DO: Yeah, this question kind of lends to offending someone.
LA: Yeah! You expect me to come in here and be like “KA?”
DO: Is that the answer?
LA: No comment.
DO: A banana went for $120,000 this year. What fruit would you spend $120,000 on?
LA: The peach from Call Me By Your Name. $120,000 at least.
DO: On your website you say, “I write and make stuff with sounds.” Can you make a stuff with sounds for us now?
LA: Like a little audio thing? [Leah whips out her computer. She has legitimate audio-editing software]. I’m confused about what your vision for this is.
DO: Uhhhh. I think we just thought you would make sounds.
LA: Like with my mouth?
DO: Yeah.. with your mouth.
LA: Okay… I love that I’m taken seriously.
DO: Describe yourself in 50 characters.
LA: Without looking? Oh, but I have to do them really fast. Empathetic Gemini, fun-loving. (86 characters)
DO: Best party trick.
LA: Fist in mouth.
DO: Ebola or Coronavirus?
LA: Coronavirus. Ebola is more deadly.
DO: Baby Yoda or Baby Groot?
LA: Baby Yoda.
DO: Bed or breakfast?
DO: Chicken or waffles?
DO: Top or bottom bunk?
LA: I have anxieties about both.
DO: McKinsey or Deloitte?
LA: Oh my god. Guys. No, thank you.
DO: Favorite WU spot?
DO: Favorite snack?
DO: Do you love me?
LA: Mhm. So much.