Categories
February 2020 Young Trustee YT

Leah Abrams

Leah arrived late to her interview, then started off the interview by scolding one of our staff members on their interviewing/journalistic practices. 

These real quotes from the real Leah Abrams.

 

DO: FMK: Tim Cook, Adam Silver, President Price

LA: Oh god this is so hard. I don’t want to threaten violence on record. No, but, I’m going to marry Tim Cook. That’s going to be my first decision. I think I’m going to fuck Vincent Price because I feel like there is something naughty behind the glasses – I don’t know. I hope this doesn’t destroy our relationship. And I have to kill Adam Silver – I admire his leadership, but to be honest, I don’t love sports. 

 

DO: What’s your moon rising? (Department Of would like to recognize “moon rising” is not an actual astrological concept)

LA: Oh my god. I love this. Can I pull up my whole Co-Star chart? Would you mind?

DO: Go for it. 

LA: So I am obviously a Gemini, hence my name @geminisweetie. I’m a Taurus rising, and my mom is a Taurus, so I like that. I’m a Scorpio moon, which for me has always been weird because I tend to think Scorpios are really shady, but maybe there’s some of that in me. Who knew I had a dark side? 

 

DO: Well, since you’re a Gemini, which side of yours are we actually seeing? Can we trust someone who is two-faced?

LA: I have always found two-faced as a descriptor of Geminis to be…. offensive. I don’t think it gets at the beauty of the Gemini sign. It’s not so much two-faced or fake or something like that as it is multi-faceted. I just object to the idea that I have some sort of duality. 

 

DO: Do you have ethical qualms about having somebody on McKinsey on your campaign?

LA: Honestly, with the amount of work he’s put in, I feel like he’s not really on the campaign.

 

DO: All of the Young Trustee candidates are unique and interesting and worthy. What makes you the unique and interesting and worthy?

LA: Things that make me – independently – unique, interesting, and worthy: uhhh I can put my fist in my mouth. I won’t show you guys. That’s pretty unique. I can do it. I met Carly Rae Jepsen this summer. I tried to write a musical when I was ten. So, those are some fun facts about me. 

 

DO: Out of every group on campus who would be your least favorite endorsement, as in whose endorsement would you reject?

LA: Oh, wow. Maybe like… Young Libertarians? I don’t want to do that to them. That’s tough. I don’t want to offend anyone. 

DO: Yeah, this question kind of lends to offending someone. 

LA: Yeah! You expect me to come in here and be like “KA?”

DO: Is that the answer?

LA: No comment. 

 

DO: A banana went for $120,000 this year. What fruit would you spend $120,000 on?

LA: The peach from Call Me By Your Name. $120,000 at least. 

DO: On your website you say, “I write and make stuff with sounds.” Can you make a stuff with sounds for us now?

LA: Like a little audio thing? [Leah whips out her computer. She has legitimate audio-editing software]. I’m confused about what your vision for this is. 

DO: Uhhhh. I think we just thought you would make sounds. 

LA: Like with my mouth?

DO: Yeah.. with your mouth. 

LA: Okay… I love that I’m taken seriously. 

 

Speed Round

DO: Describe yourself in 50 characters. 

LA: Without looking? Oh, but I have to do them really fast. Empathetic Gemini, fun-loving. (86 characters)

DO: Best party trick. 

LA: Fist in mouth. 

DO: Ebola or Coronavirus?

LA: Coronavirus. Ebola is more deadly. 

DO: Baby Yoda or Baby Groot?

LA: Baby Yoda. 

DO: Bed or breakfast?

LA: Breakfast.

DO: Chicken or waffles?

LA: Chicken. 

DO: Top or bottom bunk?

LA: I have anxieties about both. 

DO: McKinsey or Deloitte?

LA: Oh my god. Guys. No, thank you. 

DO: Favorite WU spot?

LA: Tandoor.

DO: Favorite snack?

LA: Cookie.

DO: Do you love me?

LA: Mhm. So much.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *