March 2021

Young Trustee 2021 Biographies

Young Trustee 2021 Candidates

Doha Ali

Seemingly the obvious YT choice for the other finalists, all echoed Doha Ali’s sentiments with a “like Doha said…” signaling their willingness to “borrow” the ideas of Black women for their own use, a skill which will serve them well on the Board! After all, Doha does believe the primary purpose of her education is to serve others. What better way to do that than majoring in Econ and giving everyone unsolicited advice? Amongst her scattered extracurricular activities (commitment issues?), Doha balances being both a disciplinary advisor and member of Duke’s prison education program, showcasing her inability to choose between abolitionist values and the need to play cop herself.

Kacia Anderson

This year Kacia Anderson is the token YT finalist who rests at the ideal intersection of marginalized identities. Running as a Junior (you can do that?), Kacia shows her youth by still believing that her membership of Dukes and Duchesses is a prestigious and meaningful role. Though she soils the allure of her Sociology major by being on the premed track, her overuse of the word “relationships” in her platform proves she at least passed SOCIOL 110. Though she could not even snag the DUU Presidential title, we admire her confidence that she has a chance at this election.

Nicholas Chrapliwy

Arriving (fashionably?) late to the webinar, Nicholas Chrapliwy demanded attention with his gothic, Tik-Tok famous dorm room as his Zoom background, complete with a cat to complement whatever Harry Potter vibe he was going for. Though Chrapliwy roots his platform in how he “knows Duke” because he did one presentation on it, an insider source says his infamous architectural tours of campus are merely him pointing to buildings and mumbling “pretty stone” repeatedly. This “lifelong southerner” claims his heritage will allow him to establish common ground with Trustees, confident that the Board will surely vibe with a he/they small town mountain boy like himself.

Spencer KaplanAfter being shamed for donning a NASA shirt and 2015 galaxy print leggings, Spencer Kaplan bravely left the racism and toxic masculinity of Cooper to advocate for housing reform. Always a man of the people, Kaplan bravely spearheaded the diversity and inclusion initiative for American Grand Strategy to recruit more white girlbosses to strategize the best way to terrorize the Middle East. This devil’s advocate crowns himself king of interdisciplinary studies because he both works under militant icon Peter Feaver and earned an A- in “Waves for Babes.” King!

Leave a Reply