This message is being sent to all Duke undergraduates to f*** them over.
Monday, March 29th, 2021
We are writing to share a brief update about campus housing for the 2021-2022 academic year. We expect to provide everyone’s housing assignments shortly, however, please remember that our plans are subject to change depending on the trajectory of COVID-19. With this in mind, we would like to share the following updates:
- If you filled out the housing application, you are contractually bound to live on Duke’s campus for the upcoming year. We anticipate everyone who filled out the form will be able to live on campus. No takebacks.
- All SLGs in good standing will be put in Edens Quad. Sorry.
- First years will be primarily assigned to East Campus dorms. However, do not discount the possibility of some first years living on West Campus. We ask our current students to resist the urge to shove them in a box and leave them outside of Shooters.
- Rising sophomores and juniors will be primarily assigned to West Campus dorms. To increase the probability of friends being grouped together, people of the same class will be placed in their respective subsets of dorms on campus. According to our research for the NextGen Living initiative, maintaining an age-based social hierarchy is the best replacement for the existing class-based social hierarchy. You weren’t going to make friends with other upperclassmen anyways, they’re so 2020.
- Seniors will be assigned to the remaining dorms. Because we anticipate a large number of parties, seniors will most likely be placed in 300 Swift, Avana, and Hollows. However, note that this is subject to change due to the volume of underclassmen, so seniors may be forced subject to move to other places as directed by HRL. See the K-Ville update for more details.
- We encourage seniors to not seek out off-campus apartments in Durham. We have exhausted the housing options in the Durham area as a result of housing our students during the pandemic, and we were unable to find other options. We recommend sticking with the options listed. If we had a large series of apartment complexes with individual socially distanced units to house at least 500 students, we would use it. Unfortunately, we burned ours down back in January.
- While the COVID vaccine is not mandatory for the next academic year, you will not be granted access to the buildings without it. This is to ensure that students have flexibility with their healthcare plan while protecting the students. And just to make things a little bit more fun.
The Board of Trustees, Housing and Residential Life, and President Vincent E. Price, Ph.D., M.D., J.D., J.B Duke Hotel Presidential Suite Owner, have approved our latest plan to accommodate students on campus by adding K-Ville as a residential dorm under Duke Housing. We anticipate that about 300 students will be housed in K-Ville. This dorm is part of West Campus, and will replace the traditional K-Ville tenting procedure for the 2021-2022 school year.
- Line monitors will wake you up prior to your classes and exams
- Shower access is limited to the facilities at Wilson Gym
- Masks must still be worn in the shower
- Food trucks will visit the Wilson Gym lot nightly
- Tents and sleeping bags will be provided (bring your own air mattress)
- Diverse community of Duke basketball fans
- Exclusive access to the dopest party spot on campus
- Tickets to the 2022 Duke-Carolina game
Those would like to apply for K-Ville Housing must complete a timed 30-minute basketball trivia exam, distributed on Sakai, and the top 100 scorers will receive guaranteed K-Ville Housing.
The classes of 2023, 2024, and 2025 must reside on Duke’s campus for the upcoming school year. This is non-negotiable. You will only be able to live off-campus if you have special accommodations. No, anxiety disorders and “allergic to Edens” don’t count as special accommodations. Please only reach out to HRL and SDAO for off-campus housing if you have an actual disability.
A final note
We appreciate that you took the time to read this email as you struggle to start your problem sets and projects that were due yesterday. It is our duty to accommodate as many of you as possible in order to construct both a healthy learning environment and a passable social environment. We would like to reaffirm our commitment to providing you a safe haven away from your nagging parents and to support your residential needs on campus. Please reach out to our email address if you have any questions.
Housing and Residential Life