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December 2021

Random Things To Be Thankful For At Duke

It’s the season of giving! We asked several students what they were thankful for at Duke. Here are their responses:

  • Those two weeks Marketplace had JIF Natural Peanut Butter packs instead of the nondescript yellow ones that are 30% monoglycerides
  • All the free shit giveaways that have become my sole source of bags, water bottles, pens, and stickers
  • The Pegram bathrooms – not for my personal use, but merely for the spectacle
  • The $2.5 billion I will save through the Panera free coffee loophole
  • Every time a professor reveals that yes, they are exhausted, too
  • Deviously licking 600 free masks at test sites
  • An extra piece of dry meat to chew through for dinner
  • Professors’ kids getting deathly sick because it means my 8 am is cancelled
  • Finding out you’re not the only one who has a sore throat
  • The man at Café who makes me feel loved with an endearing “niña”
  • Flunching, for allowing me to realize that professors are also people, and not just sex objects
  • Those delightfully sour whiffs of the tampon garbage disinfectant
  • Jeffrey Toobin, for making me feel less alone when I flashed by roommate’s Zoom “on accident”
  • All the “premier” organizations at Duke, like the great Department OfTM
  • My faculty in residence, whose existence reminds me that life could be much, much worse
  • The end of this article

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