The Trial of Yik Yak

Judge: (Bangs gavel)

Bailiff: All rise. The court is now in session. The honorable Judge is presiding.
Judge: Our court hearings are closed. The only persons allowed in the courtroom are people directly involved in the case. If there is anyone in the courtroom who is not directly involved in this case, please leave at this time.

(No one leaves)

Judge: Very well. Second: everything that goes on here is confidential. I don’t want to see any of this on YikYak or Tinder or Waze.  If everyone will please raise their right hand and repeat after me: “I solemnly swear that I will not divulge, either by words or signs, any information which comes to my knowledge, and that I will keep secret all said proceedings which may be held in my presence.”

(No one repeats. A few students add it to their Snap story.)