Categories
Uncategorized

Halloween Burn Book

We made burn books. They’re in the BC, Bella Union, the Marketplace, Perkins, and random scattered pockets throughout campus. We put a lot of time and ePrint money into them, so please go read one.

Halloween Burn Book

Categories
Uncategorized

Duke Store Halloween Sale

Are you ready to conform to Duke’s social expectations of fashion, school spirit, and expensive sweaters? Then today is your lucky day. Today only, our clothing items will be just a little bit less overpriced. That’s right: we are offering 16% off store-wide to celebrate October 16th!

Categories
Uncategorized

Yesterday’s History, Tomorrow’s a Mystery

Typical web history while researching for a biology project:

 

9:02 PM list of endangered species – Google Search | www.google.com

9:02 PM Species List | Endangered, Vulnerable, and Threatened Animals – WWF | www.worldwildlife.org

9:06 PM polar bear – Google search | www.google.com

9:07 PM Should the Polar Bear Still Sell Coca-Cola? – The New Yorker | www.newyorker.com

Categories
Uncategorized

New Construction

Dear President Brodhead,

It is crucial that we build a giant glass box around the chapel. Let me explain.

Categories
Uncategorized

Crocs: Not just for nurses and toddlers who don’t know how shoelaces work

You’ve seen her on the C1. You’ve seen her on the Shooters dance floor. You’ve probably Yakked about her. We sat down with the Duke Croc Girl to see what makes the legend tick.

Categories
Uncategorized

Me Too Monologue by Sterling Woobish II

I wish I could just feel normal.

I wish I didn’t feel inadequate.

I wish I could just want the same things as everyone else.

Categories
Uncategorized

Halloween Costumes for You and Your Loved One(s), Pt. 2

1. You, Mr. Steal Your Girl, and Your Girl

2. Alice Walker Texas Ranger

Categories
Uncategorized

The Democratic Nominees Do Common Ground

At an undisclosed location in the deserts of Nevada. The Democratic candidates sit criss-cross-applesauce in a circle with retreat facilitator Anderson Cooper.

Anderson Cooper: Hello, and welcome to Common Ground. I’m Anderson. My preferred pronouns are he/him/his and my preferred epithets are silver-haired fox and sapphire-eyed god. I identify as white, male, extraordinarily rich, and gay, but don’t worry, I’ve checked my privilege, just like you all will during this retreat. And do you see these onyx glasses? I am not messing around. Not today. You will feel emotionally and socially transformed. Now, let’s start the conversation and open our hearts.

Categories
Uncategorized

Halloween Costumes for You and Your Loved One(s)

1. President Brodhead and Cindy Brodhead

2. 17-year-old, 38-year-old, and Fetty Wap

Categories
Uncategorized

Accurate DukeALERTS

7:58AM DukeALERT — Transportation Notice
All Zagster bikes in use. Please wake up 10 minutes earlier and take a C1.